


"Singing Songs That Make You Slit Your Wrists"

by Highonieroine



Series: One Shots/Off-Series [12]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Fluff, M/M, TW: mention of past alcohol abuse, TW: mention of past drug use, TW: mention of past self-harming, tw: mention of suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 07:01:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12576292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Highonieroine/pseuds/Highonieroine
Summary: Hating himself for the idea of being a burden and overreacting, but also desperate to hear his friend's voice, he picked up his phone and scrolled to Frank's number in his contacts. After staring at the ten digits for a moment, hesitating, he pressed in the number while holding the phone up to his ear in one hand. After a few seconds of ringing, Gerard thought it was time to end the call, reprimanding himself for even thinking that Frank would pick up. It was 4am; he would be passed out and pissed at him for trying to wake him up. What was he thinking? Was he even thinking at all? As Gerard's index moved to end the call, he heard a click from the other side, signaling Frank had picked up."Hello?"





	"Singing Songs That Make You Slit Your Wrists"

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all will enjoy this little fluffy story!
> 
>  
> 
> Happy ieroween xo

Gerard paced up and down the length of his bedroom, his face set and hands fiddling nervously. All he could think about was how pathetic his behaviour was, staring at the same four walls at 3am. Outside of that thought was a buzz of activity dark enough that Gerard himself didn't want to venture into what it might contain. He knew how that venture usually ended; either suicidal thoughts or heartbroken cries. For the past year or so, he'd been touring and spending his nights living the dream on stage, existing for the audience as that far-off, distant to all but his bandmates on stage. Only on this tour, he'd been particularly close to one member-- Frank Iero, rhythm guitarist of his band. But for now, he tried to push those thoughts away, trying to set his mind on something else than the younger man-- but in vain.

 

Gerard let his weight sank down to his bed, slumping in exhaustion, knowing that leaving his mind to wander while trying to sleep could have no positive results in the state he was currently in. For what felt like several hours -tho it was only an hour-, he just stared at the floor in a haze of emotionless confusion, until finally he remembered one of the last things Frank had told him before they all went back to the supposed 'comfort' of their own home and beds.

 

Hating himself for the idea of being a burden and overreacting, but also desperate to hear his friend's voice, he picked up his phone and scrolled to Frank's number in his contacts. After staring at the ten digits for a moment, hesitating, he pressed in the number while holding the phone up to his ear in one hand. After a few seconds of ringing, Gerard thought it was time to end the call, reprimanding himself for even thinking that Frank would pick up. It was 4am; he would be passed out and pissed at him for trying to wake him up. What was he thinking? Was he even thinking at all? As Gerard's index moved to end the call, he heard a click from the other side, signaling Frank had picked up.

 

"Hello?" Frank half-whispered, his voice clearly tired from the tour and the fact that he'd only been conscious for a few seconds.

"Hey, Frankie, I um-- I'm so sorry for calling in the middle of the fucking night, I just-- y'know, before we all left you said that I had to call if stuff starts getting bad again, and-- well, y'know, I just didn't know what else to do, but I knew you'd be asleep and--" Gerard trailed off, not really knowing what to tell Frank, nor how to tell him. And this wasn't something new; Frank knew that Gerard was starting to stumble on his words and getting lost in his ramble, and that's when the younger man decided to cut him off.

"Gerard, listen to me. Can you wait like five minutes for me to get to your place? I get the feeling it'll be way better for you if we talk about this in person" Frank offered, his voice caring and soft.

"No, you really don't have to do that, Frankie. I'm-- I'm just overreac--"

"Gerard" Frank cut him once more, "You are not overreacting and you are not bothering me. I'm coming over. Unlock the basement door for me, please"

"Fran--"

 

Gerard heard a beeping sound, and as he pulled the phone away from his ear, he realized that Frank had ended the call. Despite this awful feeling of guilt, Gerard couldn't help but smile over his friend's total care for his well-being. He walked over to the basement door, unlocking it before wandering around his small room, waiting. Five minutes later, as promised, the older man heard the door leading to the basement open and close, followed by footsteps. Frank appeared in his sight, wearing old jeans and a Black Flag oversized tshirt that clearly needed to be washed, or at least folded more properly. Frank had probably just grabbed the first things he saw and then headed over to Gerard's place.

Frank smiled cautiously at Gerard as he walked over to him, keeping his eyes on the older man who was sitting on the side of the bed. Frank had dealt with Gerard's episodes before, but it was always best to know exactly how bad he was to know how to help. Gerard tried to smile back, but it was a smile that his eyes didn't share. Frank sat down next to Gerard and put his arms around him in a comforting way, and-- almost immediately-- Gerard leaned into the crook of Frank's neck. Frank could feel the grasp of Gerard's hands on his shoulders as he simply held him tighter in his arms. And, for a moment, they simply stayed like that. Gerard was the one to break the silence.

 

"I'm sorry, Frank" he whispered.

"Hey, don't" Frank said, pulling away so he could look Gerard's eyes. "Don't you ever apologize. I made a promise that I'd be there any time you would need me, and clearly this is one of those times" he added, his voice growing more serious. "And it's no problem, I swear. I'd be way more pissed if you ever needed me and didn't talk to me just because you thought I'd care about not getting enough hours of sleep. Do you remember when we were filming the music video for I'm Not Okay? We barely slept during those record days and we had been touring a lot before that. And I still got through the whole thing with only four hours of sleep. So believe me, when it comes to you, I would skip an entire night just to make sure you're fine" he added, winking at the older man as he leaned to kiss his forehead, making him instantly blush.

"I know" Gerard replied, looking at the ground with a faint smile on his chapped lips. "I just-- you know how it goes, my brain likes to fuck with me-- convince me at every turn that I'm a burden, I'm a bother, I'm worthless, I'd be bet--"

"You could never be that to me" Frank said, cutting him, preventing him from saying those cursed words. "You know that's how this goes for me too; we deal with each other's shit, no matter what. We always did" he added, making a small pause. "You wanna talk about it?" he finally asked, knowing the invitation was sometimes all it took to get Gerard to open up to him and tell him what's been on his mind.

"I-- I think it must just be a post-concert thing-- y'know, living on the road that long and having so much to immediately look forward to with shows and parties and the fans going insane and the albums and-- don't get me wrong, I love that we just get to chill when we get back-- but now that I don't have all those adrenaline rushes and that I'm left alone, my mind just kinda wanders to reason for-- y'know-- giving up"

Frank's heart twisted at those words, because he knew very well what Gerard meant, and also knew exactly what it led to a while back when things had gotten really bad. The drugs. The alcohol. The fights. The cries. Those hopeless nights. The suicide attemps. The idea of these thoughts coming back to Gerard terrified him, but for his friend's sake, Frank had to remain calm.

"I know" Frank replied, looking into Gerard's eyes, seeing how much calmer he was already just from knowing he was being understood and had someone to talk to, someone he could trust. Gerard was clearly done with talking about it, as he leaned back into the crook of Frank's neck, burying his face as Frank leaned his head onto his partner's head.

Once more, they stayed in this position for a while before Gerard slowly pulled back, looking into Frank's eyes, their faces closer than before. Gerard closed the distance between them by pulling Frank into a soft kiss. Frank nibbled on Gerard's bottom lip, softly biting it as the older man moaned loudly. As soon as Frank realized that Gerard's mouth was opened, he slid his tongue in, exploring and tasting his partner's mouth once more, making him gasp and moan. After what seemed like an eternity, Frank slowly pulled away, leaving him and Gerard panting in need of air.

 

"Would you feel better if I stayed here tonight?" he suggested, looking into Gerard's eyes, hoping to see something more than these empty orbs.

"But you didn't bring any of your stuff-- and you probably have things to do tomorrow that I'm interrup--" Gerard started, his worries about being a burden clearly manifesting again as he started to ramble.

"Gerard" Frank cut him, "seriously, it's no problem. I swear. If anything, I would be more than happy to stay over" he added as he smiled, knowing that Gerard was only trying to come up with excuses for --what he thought was-- Frank's sake.

Gerard glanced away quickly before looking back at Frank, smiling and nodding as he leaned back in for another kiss, this one more smooth than the previous.

"Come on, sweet heart" Frank insisted, kissing Gerard's forehead once more. "You really should get some sleep. Especially now that I'm here" he added, winking again at Gerard, who just blushed intensively before nodding again. The couple climbed beneath the sheets and cuddled up together, taking some time to adjust to each other's shape but eventually settling for spooning, Gerard being the little spoon, his back leaning on Frank's chest.

 

"Mmhm-- Frankie?" Gerard mumbled sleepily after a while.

"Yes?"

"I love you" he said, unconsciously shifting his body to be closer to Frank than he already was.

"Love you too. So fucking much" Frank said, smiling as he was already feeling Gerard's chest rising in a slowed pattern, indicating he was asleep. And it was only a matter of minutes after seeing this adorable sight that Frank finally fell asleep too, his mind drifting off with the sweet melodies of Gerard's voice when he sleeps.


End file.
